Midnight Renegade (Men of Midnight Book 7) Read online

  His eyes narrowed and he gave a small smile. “I bet. I don’t imagine ER doctors to be passive delicate flowers, no. But the fact is that you were abducted, kept drugged, you were in a vehicle that rolled down a cliff and you nearly drowned. Though you and Metal both say you’re not badly concussed, you bounced off rocks in the river. I saw you do it. I think you can be excused if you’re feeling a little off.”

  She sighed, unhappy at the thought. But there was nothing she could do. There was no strength in her to shake things off and get her life back.

  “I’d like to go to my apartment.” She was perfectly comfortable here but her apartment was her haven, her safe place.

  She watched his face morph from impassivity to concern and then alarm.

  “Whoa.” His dark eyes showed the whites all around. “I don’t know where that thought came from but no. Not just no, but hell no.” He stopped, some strong emotion making his jaws clench. “Sorry, I don’t mean to tell you what to do and if it’s a medical question, I bow to your expertise. But this —” he bent forward a little and clutched her hand a little more tightly. “This is my area of expertise. You have bad guys after you and you could say that’s my specialty — stopping bad guys from ruining lives. I’m something of an expert and I’ve done it all my adult life. And let me tell you rule number one in dealing with fuckheads — sorry —”

  Honor thought of everything she’d heard in the ER and smiled. “I told you before. Believe me when I say that I’ve heard it all. Fuckheads sounds like the technical term for the men who abducted me.”

  His eyes burned dark and intense and his gaze never wavered from her face.

  “Okay. Rule number one about bad guys — they never ever give up and they never go away. You don’t go over them or under them or around them, you go through them. Or — in your case, you stay far away from them.”

  There was something about the fervor in his tone, the burning intensity of his dark eyes. This was wrenched from the deepest pit of his being. There was a story there too.

  He placed his other hand over hers, encasing her hand in warm hard male strength.

  “We have one huge advantage. They think you’re dead so they aren’t coming after you again. But if we lose that advantage and they know you’re alive, then we’ll have to fight. But we’d be fighting in the blind.”

  She stared into his eyes, wondering whether he was listening to himself. Whether he was hearing what she heard.

  We.

  With every word he said, Matt showed that he had made her problems completely his. Plus of course he had enrolled what looked like a formidable team to be their backup.

  Honor dug deep inside herself. No memories of her confinement came welling up, but there had been strong emotions and she could access them now. One of those strong emotions had been a feeling of complete solitude. She’d been alone in her prison and at no time did she feel that someone was coming for her. Never once had she felt that all she had to do was hang in there, because someone who cared for her was coming.

  There was no one. The only person that might have noticed her absence was her father and they’d been in a serious I’m-not-talking-to-you phase and had been for weeks.

  She’d called her father’s doctor in LA and forced him to tell her the results of her father’s latest blood work, which she’d had to bully her father into doing. The findings had been bad, and when she talked to her father about them over the phone, he’d hung up on her. And that had been that.

  They hadn’t spoken for a month, that she knew. There were huge gaping holes in her memory, but she remembered that.

  The thing is, she wouldn’t have wanted her father coming for her anyway, not under those circumstances. She had a sense of the men who’d kept her a prisoner and they were cold and hard and cruel. Her seventy-year-old father, with a tricky heart and very high blood pressure, would have been no match for them.

  The only thing he could have offered was money, and he’d have done that instantly, more than willingly. But apparently, no ransom had been demanded.

  Her colleagues would miss her, sure. But she had a lot of accumulated time and though it wasn’t like her to disappear, they’d cover for her and not give it a thought.

  She’d been so utterly alone. That was the one thing she knew. She could have died and her corpse left to rot and no one would know.

  No one, really, would have cared, except her father.

  But now there were people who cared. And the one who seemed to care the most was right here with her, holding her hand.

  He was frowning, black eyebrows drawn together, shaggy hair partially hiding the frown lines on his forehead as he chewed his way through the problem. It wasn’t a handsome face but it was a strong face and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.

  He leaned forward a little and spoke earnestly. “Do you need something from your apartment? Is that it? I could send Nick and Joe. They’re both really good at infiltrating. None of your neighbors would ever know anyone had been there. They could —”

  She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his.

  Honor had no idea she was going to do it until she did it. His mouth was softer than it looked and the scruff around it prickled the skin around hers. She could almost taste his surprise.

  A moment after she kissed him, she realized with her head what her heart — or her hormones — had made her do and she pulled back immediately, mortified. He was frozen.

  “Oh God.” Her free hand covered her mouth. Had she misread that kiss they’d shared?

  He kissed her back.

  Simply leaned his head toward hers and pressed his mouth to hers, just like she’d done.

  Only more. And better. No awkwardness at all.

  He licked her lips and a bolt of electricity shot through her, unlike anything she’d ever felt before. Like touching a live wire. God, just from a kiss.

  They broke apart at the exact same time, to breathe. She hadn’t breathed, hadn’t consider it necessary. All she’d needed was that punch of heat from the touch of his lips to hers.

  One hand left hers and he curled it around her neck. She couldn’t move her head back because he was clasping it. That hard hand keeping her head still.

  Yeah. It wasn’t necessary, though it felt good. She didn’t want to move back, away from him. God, no.

  Their faces were barely an inch apart, so close all she could really see was his eyes. The irises a deep brown striated with lighter brown and the pupils slightly dilated.

  Which is what happens during sexual arousal. Her own pupils were probably enormous.

  He pulled gently on the hand clasping her neck, bringing her head forward and his mouth covered hers again. He opened her mouth with his, tongue touching hers. Her breath shuddered, her hand clutching his forearm. His skin was so hot she could feel the heat through the sweatshirt he was wearing. The last of the cold she’d felt these past days was blasted out of her, a flush of heat pulsing through her system, head to toe.

  Matt angled his head and the kiss became deeper, hotter.

  Somehow Honor found herself on her back and Matt on top of her, kissing her wildly. Her body burst into flames. No other way to describe it. Searing heat, inside and out.

  She almost didn’t recognize herself. Almost looked around to see if it was someone else in the room experiencing searing heat at a man’s touch, his kiss. But nope. Just her.

  His hands slid to her waist and then ran along her ribcage, raking up her sweater, tank top and bra with it.

  “Lift your arms,” he said. That was command in his voice but she didn’t need command. No, the thought of her naked chest against his filled her with heat. She lifted her arms and layers of clothes were tossed to the floor. Somehow while he was stripping her of her clothes, he managed to pull his own sweatshirt off and ah! Just the feel of his chest against her breasts was heaven.

  He had chest hair, which was very unfashionable. She’d dated a lawyer who shaved his chest, which was not a
good idea because when it started to grow back, it was prickly, like a beard. He’d been a bit prickly, too, she remembered. After a couple of dates and one night in bed, they’d parted ways.

  Matt’s chest, on the other hand, had a mat of wiry curly dark hair that covered his pectorals. It felt good against her skin, like a soft cushion over very hard muscle. Very hard muscle. She’d seen every iteration of the human body and this one was just superb.

  But they’d tried to break it.

  Honor ran her hands over his back, stopping at a puckered scar just to the side of the scapula. Her mouth was against his neck and she kissed him. “Bullet?” she whispered.

  “Yeah. Stupid accident. I was swapping out body armor. Dumb move.”

  She wondered what it would be like to have to wear body armor all the time. Not fun. “It missed bone. That’s good.”

  His hand ran from the bottom of her spine up her back, to tunnel in her hair. “Missed the lung, too. Lucky.”

  She ran her hand down his side, along the hard highly-developed muscles, so firm she couldn’t make a dent in them. Near the hip was another scar, long and ragged. He stiffened. “And this?” she whispered into his shoulder.

  The sigh was gusty enough to shift her hair. “Bad scene,” he said, as if the other scar were a good scene. “Guy we thought was on our side. Came into command with empty hands. But he had a knife in a sheath inside his tunbaan, these loose pants. Wounded me, killed our terp. I was treated by a medic who did a good job but the scar is ugly. Sorry.”

  She shook her head and kissed his shoulder again. He had nothing to be sorry about and anyway, she was used to scars. She was only sorry that he’d gone through that. To be attacked by someone you trusted must have been awful.

  Matt took her hand, brought it to his mouth, kissed her palm. “We done mapping my scars?”

  She smiled against his skin. “Depends. What else do you have to show me?”

  “This.” He kissed her hand again and brought it down, down, over his chest, stomach, further down. He wrapped her hand around his penis and Honor was shocked and aroused. She curled her fingers around it, feeling the heat, the steely hardness yet the softness of the skin covering it.

  As penises went, it was a champ. The touch of her fingers made him swell even further, blood surging through the organ. And then, to her surprise, feeling that, her vagina clenched. Instinctively, her fingers tightened, more blood surged through his penis and her vagina clenched again.

  Their bodies were … dancing. A sexual dance that had nothing to do with volition. And Honor realized in that moment that with her other sex partners, she’d sort of willed herself into it, into sexual desire. She didn’t have to do this here.

  Nope.

  Her body didn’t care what her head was doing, it was going ahead all on its own, readying itself for him.

  She could feel it, feel the arousal running through her. Her vagina becoming soft and wet, her nipples, rubbing against the wiry hairs of his chest, becoming hard, her skin becoming super sensitive.

  It was amazing.

  “I can almost feel your head buzzing,” he said, his hand cupping the back of her head. “What’s running through that super smart mind of yours?”

  She didn’t feel super smart right now. Right now, she felt like one giant throbbing hormone. Telling him that, though — it would put a lot of power into those big strong hands. Wouldn’t it?

  She pulled back to look him in the eyes. He wasn’t looking smug. He had heat in his eyes and there was a slight smile but there was nothing there for her to be afraid of or to distrust.

  Something deep inside her unclenched, something she didn’t even know was tense. That something was the wall she’d kept up all her life as a woman, keeping men out. They were allowed some small part of her, but not all. She never let down her defenses, not entirely. Even during sex, something inside her was kept tightly to herself.

  It was gone. Something had cracked her wide open. Someone had cracked her wide open. This big man who’d done nothing but care for her since he’d saved her life.

  “I don’t think it’s my head that’s buzzing,” she said softly, looking him straight in the eyes.

  His black eyebrows rose.

  “I think it’s my body that’s buzzing.”

  As if her words galvanized him, he bent his head and started kissing her wildly. She welcomed it. She welcomed everything he did to her. And he was doing it fast as if she’d unleashed something in him.

  Fast was good. Honor found herself wanting fast. Wanting fast and hard and hot, because that was what was making her feel so alive.

  His mouth caught hers, tongue licking inside her mouth, while his hands slid her soft pants and panties off under the covers. He lifted the duvet and she could hear her clothes slithering to the floor. Followed a second later by his jeans which made more noise. He had a lot of stuff in his jeans pockets and it all pinged off the floor.

  Somehow — she had no idea how — he’d also managed to get his boots and socks off. They were both naked and she felt that hard, long body against hers.

  It was delicious but she barely had a chance to relish it before hard hairy thighs pushed her legs apart. This was going so fast! She usually liked long lingering kisses and careful foreplay. This felt like being caught in a tornado.

  And her body was with it, already open for him, already wet for him. Whatever he wanted, she wanted to give him because this feeling of power and heat was too wonderful to resist. She tried to touch him all over, everywhere her hands and mouth and legs could reach because he was a source of power, of otherworldly energy. When she touched him, it was like touching a huge life source that crackled under her fingertips.

  Sometimes it felt like she dealt in death, day in day out. But not now. Now there was life in the bed with them, huge and hot and heavy and smelling of male sweat and somehow leather again and altogether heavenly.

  She put her nose to his neck and simply inhaled, smiling against his skin. He smelled of sex, too. They smelled of sex even though, technically, they hadn’t made love yet.

  Soon, though.

  Matt shifted his body until he was completely covering her, his huge penis poised at her entrance. It might hurt. She was prepared for that. He was bigger than most. But she didn’t care because she was about ready to explode, on the verge of orgasm just from touching him.

  This was so very unlike her. She’d had lovers who complained about how hard it was to get her to come, so she’d learned the fine feminine art of faking it. She wasn’t faking anything right now. She was shaking, right on the verge of a climax, completely open to him.

  He positioned himself, began slowly entering her and all her energy coiled, spiraled to that one spot where they were joined. She was shaking, so close …

  Matt stopped, lifted himself up on his arms.

  He was stopping?

  He was stopping?

  Right now?

  Her eyes snapped open. “What?”

  His horrified face was so close it was all she saw. “Condoms!”

  Honor could barely think, moved her hips so she could take more of him. What was he saying? He held himself up and away from her. The beast!

  “Honey, I don’t have condoms! Fuck fuck fuck! Never even occurred to me that I would need them up here. What are we going to do?”

  Honor pressed the back of his head down to her, until their faces were touching, their mouths almost kissing.

  “We are constantly tested. And I take contraceptive shots.”

  His breath left his lungs in a huge whoosh.

  “And you?”

  “I’ve been tested too. No diseases. Clean as a whistle. The only thing I’m suffering from is blue balls.”

  He slid a little further into her and she shivered, tightened her legs around him.

  “Ahhh.” They were kissing and she smiled into his mouth. He lifted his mouth from hers and her smile grew larger as he moved deeply into her. “We can’t have that, c
an we? Make love to me, Matt. Doctor’s orders.”

  And he began moving.

  Matt’s face was right up against her neck. He could feel the softness of her skin against his lips, smell her skin, which smelled of that rose-scented soap all the bathrooms had. Rose-scented soap for the women and pine-scented soap for the guys. Her skin smelled of roses and a light veil of sex.

  He drew in the smell. Mmm.

  She’d been holding him tightly. Everything about her had been tight as she climbed that peak up to orgasm. Arms and legs tightly wound around him, muscles tight, face tight.

  Then that glorious release and she turned boneless, arms flopping to her sides, legs relaxed and open.

  He wasn’t relaxed, particularly one part of him. That part was still tight and hard inside her.

  But it didn’t matter. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself. Besides, just watching her come — man, that had been amazing.

  “You didn’t —”

  He lifted his head a little. She was smiling at the ceiling, eyes closed.

  “No. I didn’t.”

  She hesitated. “Do you —”

  “Nope.” Her eyes opened at that. Man, her eyes were something else. So light gray they were almost silver, with that dark blue band around the rim. He ran the back of his finger down her face, down that velvety skin. “Whatever you’re going to say, I am absolutely fine. That was amazing.”

  Her face softened a little. “It was. I think this is the first time I’ve felt good in a long time. Maybe longer than my abduction.”

  His chest tightened a little at that. He knew very little about Honor Thomas, almost nothing of her background. From what Felicity uncovered, she was a dedicated and capable doctor and seemed not to have broken any laws. Other than that, what he knew was what he’d observed after he fished her out of the river. He liked everything he’d seen. He knew the basics. That she was strong and brave and uncomplaining. That she was smart.

  And alone.

  At no time had she mentioned a partner, not even the shadow of one. No one had come for her.

  That threw him. Even this close to her, so close that his mouth brushed her skin, she was flawless. Fine features that didn’t need any make up, smooth ivory skin, those gemlike cat eyes. Then there was the fact that she was super smart, funny even while in distress and was instinctively kind.